B(owel)log

... and we're back!

2009-01-03T13:43:00.004-05:00

Hello and Happy New Year!

I've been away for sometime, exhaustively pouring all my energy into moving my career forward. The summer cleanse never happened, as my goal for getting summer work took precedence. I did, in fact, get a lot of work this past summer, booking a feature in an international advertisement, landing a month-long residency with an opera production and coming very very close to being a member of an internationally touring dance company. In the fall, I began an intensive Pilates Certification Program for which I am now very busy completing apprentice hours. I also embarked on a year-long Dance Education course, that's really gotten me to see dance as a tool for sharing (rather than a one meant exclusively for self-development) and has inspired me to develop my own dance philosophy. All this with the goal of eventually moving on from the work that's been so distracting and so unsatisfying. I know I have a lot of sacrifice and hustling to do, but the love I have for the process and the ultimate reward is so worth it.

With all this juggling, a cleanse would be practical or near impossible, but along with this new year came such great energy and motivation! I know that I'm moving in the right direction, I just need to clear my head and organize my thoughts so that the momentum doesn't wane with my inevitable exhaustion. So I, along with a friend, will be doing a two-part ten-day cleanse during which time I'll be meditating on my fulfilled presence and the bright future ahead of me. My goal is to be at peace, find focus, and remain energized.

I'll begin the first day of a five-day juice cleanse on 12 January. On 17th, I'll move on to the Master Cleanse, returning to juices on 23 January and later soups and solids by the end of that week . I'm quite looking forward to doing another cycle. I'm always pleased with myself when I've completed a cleanse. And this time around, I've recruited a friend (and a newbee!) to join the ride, which will be great motivation and will give firsthand insight into how others experience the cleanse.

Here's to maintaining momentum in 2009!
Cheers!

On: Sea sponge tampons

2008-11-30T21:35:00.001-05:00

So my cycle is wrapping up for the month and I just wanted to share with you my thoughts on green menstrual products. Though I've considered it for a long time, this was the first month that I've forgone disposable products in favor of the reusable sort and while it took some getting used to, I must say I'm totally converted.

You see, many of the women in my family suffer from reproductive disorders (cysts, cancers, early menopause, etc.) and so I'm very cautious with my delicates (so far so good!). Synthetic fiber tampons, nylon pads, chemical douches and whatnot all seem like the best way to upset what nature's already figured out. But on a practical note, I'm a very active person who needs a reliable and user-friendly answer to the green movement. In comes, Sea Pearls, a sea sponge tampon that's completely natural and organically harvested. At $11/pair and a life span of up to 6 months, these tampons are the perfect answer to my personal financial crisis.

The first day was a bit messy, but the rest of the week went on without a hitch. The sponges are about the size of small kiwi fruit, but soft and spongy... like a sponge. Once inserted, they feel like a tampon would and soak up about as much as a tampon would. Removing them can be tricky and simply requires practice. By the third day, I'd sewn waxed thread through them to streamline my bathroom breaks. I bought two pairs for convenience, rising of a used tampon, placing it in a ziplock, and inserting a new one. At the end of each day, I soaked them in a tea tree oil and water solution to disinfect them and let them air dry, popping them in my purse the next morning. Simple.

I saved some money and the planet this month. Go me! The most unexpected benefit has been the tea tree oil's soothing quality. I only used a few drops at a time, but the results were noticeable. This was definitely a calmer, more rejuvenating period.

Next month, I'll be trying the Moon Cup for comparison. I'm a little nervous about it, but it'll be interesting to see just how much blood and other stuff I'm losing each month. Kind of like a science project. Stay tuned...

Summer Cleansing

2008-06-01T15:41:00.001-05:00

It's officially summer here in New York, and it's the best time of the year to eat! From the outdoor farmer's markets and cultural festivals to the street fairs and block parties, eating in the city can be SO rewarding. In preparation for my favorite sunny season pastime, I'm going to begin a Master Cleanse cycle this month. I haven't completed one in over six months now and my entrails are in need of a good washing.

The next few weeks on my calendar are jam-packed with way too much work, so I'm going to just be mindful and not fall into my usual food traps when I'm stressed (lots and lots of pasta and bread and rice with cheese on everything), so that when I begin my pre-cleanse, it won't be too difficult.

Stay tuned fellow cleansers and join me!

On: Dieting vs. Cleansing vs. Fasting

2008-05-24T17:07:00.008-05:00

It's been several months since my last post and if there are actual readers of this blog, Please accept my sincerest apologize for my absence. But the neglect of our little weblog has not been in vain! To my credit, I've been doing a whole lot of research and experimenting. And for a short time, in fact, I lost my confidence in the idea of detoxing, becoming truly discouraged by all the misinformation that's out there. With the Master Cleanse finding a place among celebrity diet trends and the media promoting it as a "get thin quick" move, it's not surprising that I came across such terribly misguided "expert advice" in my search for the right answers. I was especially disappointed by the popular misuse of dieting, cleansing and fasting as one synonymous notion. Dieting, cleansing, and fasting are three totally different ideas; three unrelated intentions, three separate processes. This is my idea of the three in layman's terms :

Dieting is the management of food intake to lose, maintain or gain weight. Diet is for life. Dieting is change and no lasting change has ever been quick. Making the decision to begin eating healthy (balanced meals and eating in moderation to nourish the body, engage the senses and make you feel good) along with exercising can lead to a healthy happy life! Crash dieting or the use of pills and potions to control weight can lead to serious health problems.

Fasting is the abstinence of any food and sometimes drink for a period of time. There are a number of motivations behind fasting. Religious proponents for example, may fast to get closer to God. Political protesters might fast in as an act of non-violent resistance or to bring attention to their message. When the intention is to lose weight, however, I believe, and I'm no expert, the that faster is simply a masochist fighting a useless battle. The body will derive nutrients from somewhere, even if it needs to breakdown its own muscle tissue to do so.

Cleansing is the voluntary controlled avoidance and employment of food over a period of time to eliminate toxins that have accumulated in the body. These harmful substances negatively affect our health and their removal through cleansing can lead to a beautiful sunshiny existence! I can think of two different methods of cleansing. The first employs vitamin and mineral rich foods to aid the body in removing toxins. Of course, a balanced diet with roughage and lots of water is necessary to help prevent "reintoxication" (This should not be confused with a diet whose purpose is primarily weight control). The second is the elimination of food so that the body has the opportunity to cleanse itself. The Grape Fast, the Master Cleanse and others like it use one food rich in vitamins and minerals and lots of water to sustain the body nutritionally while the body employs it's own biological processes to clean itself (This should not be confused with a fast which have many potential motivations, but whose intention should not be ridding the body of toxins or losing weight). Common sense and research are so important when embarking on a cleanse. Look into both sides of the argument. Be diligent. Understand your body. Know your limits and challenge them, but be aware of the edge and have to keep you from going over it. Be honest with yourself.

I have a friend who used a cleansing cycle to begin a religiously motivated fast. I have used cleansing cycles to introduce better food choices into my diet. I have always been clear on the difference between the three. A cleanse is not a diet. Fasting and detoxing are not interchangeable.

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Now playing on iTunes: Louie Ramirez - Yambu
via FoxyTunes

Day 2 (take two) or Despite the stench, I will make it through this day a person at peace!

2007-09-15T14:23:00.001-05:00

10a It's a new day, a new opportunity to redeem yesterday's stinkiness. At the top of my day, I had an encounter with certain dance instructor and I hope I can get over in the next few hours (I just have zero patience for arrogance... zilch!). I'm stage managing a play later this evening (damn, I hate that play, ugh!). These are the sources of my crankiness this morning. I'm staying positive though. I'm starting with the lime drink this morning. When I get to the half-liter mark on the bottle, I'll start a liter of the super greens drink. I've added a few splashes on fresh lime juice and a packet of citrus flavored Emergen-C powder. It makes the swampy mixture much more appealing.

I didn't quite accomplish my goal to use the H U G Performance as a meditative exercise on spreading peace. It was a very difficult day physically and emotionally. Once the fatigue set in, I found myself wondering why I'd signed up to do this and if I actually believed in the intent of the project. With only a few gulps of hot mint flavored water and a few sips of the lime drink, I hardly made it through the trip from Omar's place in Williamsburg to the Lorimer stop on the L. I gave in and had an apple and then nibbled on a granola bar during the early portion of the course, but I admit that I continued to eat past my satisfaction point.

But like I said, this is a new day, a new opportunity to commit to this fast.

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5:32p You know flax has this very interesting nutty green flavor. I enjoy it much more than I thought I would. I've added it to the super greens mixture, further improving the already "straight from the bottom of a swampy pond" appeal of it. Feeling good.

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10:17p Have I mentioned how much this play wreaks? I am, again, blogging from behind the board. I'm still on track to a successful cycle. I'm not feeling hungry, but I haven't been evacuating at the same rate as in past cycles. I don't think I have reason to worry yet. I treated myself to a bit of orange spice tea, which was de-lis-cious :)

... until tomorrow my loves.

Health Meter: 3
Energy Quotient: 3
Happiness Quotient: 3
No. of BMs: 2

Day 2: Feeling like a good H U G

2007-09-14T08:02:00.001-05:00

8:30a In a few hours, I will embark on a four-hours long site-specific performance art piece directed by the our good friend Julie Troost. I'm hoping to use the project as an exercise in meditation and a tool for my cleansing. Please visit the project's MySpace page here for more information. I'm partnering with Pedro and two of the three locations I've submitted are being used -- hooraay! I'm not certain that I'll be able to endure the course without the lime drink and I'm not sure I'll be able to find a suitable substitute during our trip, but I'm confident that this event will me an empowering and enlightening one :)

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11:06p I ate granola and salad this afternoon. The performance ended almost two hours behind schedule. My partner is a hippie. My everything hurts. I was an hour or so late for "Blume" rehearsal and without the updated script. Day 2 was a bad day to not be eating :(

Health Meter: 3
Energy Quotient: 3
Happiness Quotient: 3
No. of BMs: 1

Day 1: Oh fantastic, glorious Autumn outlook!

2007-09-12T07:01:00.001-05:00

7:55a When I opened my eyes this morning to a mild bought of stomach upset, it took me a few slams on snooze to remember that I'd be starting my cleanse today! I'm sipping on a liter of warm sea salt water. If done correctly (2 teaspoons of salt in 32 ounces of water), the mixture is supposed to resemble the consistency of blood and it won't be absorbed by the intestines. I recommend drinking the tea early on the eve of the first day and avoid ingesting fibrous foods and liquids in the final days of your pre-fast because they won't be pleasant on the way out.

Now, morning evacuations should not be taken lightly. One should be cautious to set aside at least 45 minutes for the sea salt water flush to complete its course. If I leave for the express train, I'm liable to suffer an uncomfortable or possibly catastrophic event!

I promised myself to be more diligent in my recording of this cycle. As with the last cycle, I'll also make a list of some important physical and emotional dimensions that are likely to fluctuate during the cleanse, again, for reference. I will measure the areas by assigning each a number from one to fve, with one being the lowest and five being the highest: health meter (how healthy I feel), energy quotient (how sluggish or perky I feel), happiness quotient (how euphoric or bummed out I feel), and number of bowel movements (how many times I needed to flush). I've decided not to be too concerned with recording my weight loss -- I'll just note my pre-fast and break-fast weights.

Going to work now... very long day ahead. I'll check in soon.

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3:05p I'm being honest when I say I'm having some difficulty staying focused on the task at hand.

Health Meter: 2
Energy Quotient: 2
Happiness Quotient: 3
No. of BMs: 2

On the Eve of a 10-Day Modified Master Cleanser

2007-09-11T22:42:00.001-05:00

It's that season again... for detoxification of the body and spirit, for clearing pathways, and for a fresher, cleaner, happier outlook. I'm enjoying a steaming cup of Smooth Moves with just a splash of lime juice... yumm. For this cycle, I did a mini prep. These past two days I've ingested mostly liquids and begrudgingly abstained from cheese and cookies. I think I've gotten the hang of this fasting thing and I'm in tuned enough with my body to know when we're not agreed on a course of action. I get really nervous about the thought of digestive distress. When my innards are happy, everyone is happy!

Now, people who know me know that I'm a person who likes to improve on things. I'm constantly looking for ways to make aspects of my life better -- whether that be taking on opportunities to refine a skill, polishing a process, or finding a more fulfilling work situation, or developing an old idea. So, in the case of this cleanse, I sought the advice of some well informed people and did a little research on the web in order to find out if this is the best way for me to detox.

What I found basically supported my suspicions. My major concern regards the near complete lack on nutritional intake while on the cleanse, leaving your innards, particularly the kidney and the liver, vulnerable to increased in stress that can be serious. While limes are an okay source of Vitamin C, and organic maple syrup can cover about a third of your iron and calcium requirements, the body needs to be replenished of all the nutrients that's being washed out during cleansing process. I also researched the skeptics -- the doctors and cynics who say the Cleanser doesn't do squat or that there's nothing beneficial in clearing the colon, that it's all quackery. I have to say, that even if all those folks are right, I'm still going with my gut instincts... and my guts tell me that they like that squeaky clean feeling. I feel so great while on the cleanse and I trust my feelings!

But I digress. I went to Whole Foods Union Square this evening to stock up on some limes and I also picked up a canister of ground flaxseed and packets of a powder mixture called Green Super Food, or something. My plan for tomorrow is to do the salt water flush in the morning, drink the lemonade between glasses of the super/flax mix and cups of peach liver support tea. I hope to absorb the good stuff out of the super/flax mix before my guts have a chance to flush it all out. We'll see how we feel in a few days.

Just finishing up my delicious Smooth Moves tea and I'm off to bed... be back to tomorrow with the low down.

Kosher Vagina + Reusable Tampons

2007-07-31T20:57:00.002-05:00

1. I'm a very particular about my bits and get anxious when things aren't all kosher with baby sis and the twins. Recently, I found a harden tube in my breast and I've been suffering from an uncomfortable bacterial infection that just keeps coming back. I trust my gynecologist. She's saucy and I like that about her. She suggest that I remove my piercings, take antibiotics and vitamins, eat way more fruit and vegetables, and get more sleep. I've stopped using tampons and switched to 100% organic cotton pads. Bacterial infection: gone! Who says doctors don't perform miracles?

2. A few weeks ago, Time Out New York ran an issue on "Living Green" with articles on the "Go Organic!" movement, a feature on trendy boutiques that sell eco-friendly duds, and the tips on how to live like a dirty hippie in the city.

The last item being of most interest to me because all that tree-hugging, urine-saving, and solar/wind power-using is just so intriguing to me. (you mean I can eat those ugly Croc sandals?) One of the suggestions the editors offered was buying reuseable menstruation products. I was repulsed at first, but upon further research I've decided these products are not only good for my vagina, but they're good for my pocket too! Washable flannel maxis?! Reusable sea sponge tampons?! Insertable flow cups?! Ingenious I say!

You can learn more about earth and pocket friendly menstrual products at Jade & Pearl online.

On: Reflection or "I bet you think this blog is about you..."

2007-07-16T23:42:00.001-05:00

1. If I'm having a conversation with a person and we happen to come across a reflective surface, a store front window or a hallway mirror for example, it always happens that I immediately begin to dislike this person the minute they ignore me to indulge in their own vanity. They might be mesmerized by the way they speak in flowery gestures or they might watch themselves throwing their heads back mid-laugh. Say what you will, but I think it's just poor manners! I understand that some may be curious to see what they look like chewing or nodding, but what is the significance of my company if they would rather watch themselves? I'm sure I look like a complete fool when I'm laughing, but isn't that part of the joy?

2. Most of the people I have conversations with are performers: dancers, actors, and others of that ilk. People who spend a good amount of their lives in front of a mirror, analyzing, comparing, perfecting. For the healthy-minded performer, the mirror is a good coach; tough and brutally honest, but invaluable in guiding one's training and in refining one's image. There are some, who don't develop such a nurturing relationship with the glass. In their eyes, imperfections are magnified. The mirror is a bully.

3. I have a student in my Program who I'm a huge fan of. She's a beautiful, sweet, and determined young lady. She has a lot of potential to become a powerful dancer, the type of performer you just can't take your eyes away from, but it seems she's always sick. This gorgeous young lady has a history of anorexia and bulimia. I'm aware of the fact that eating disorders have less to do with food and weight, as much as general mental health and, specifically, a distorted self-image--hence my rebellion against jumping on the bandwagon when the apple-and-coffee-craze swept through my dance school, and, frankly, why I find it so difficult to sympathize with these young girls who just can't get it together. I feel ultimately it's about vanity and egotism.

I sound like a monster.

There are people in the world who have no food, and here you are vomiting up a perfectly good meal because you can't seem to work out your demons. Every individual is responsible for their own lives, their own happiness. Work on you.

On: Losing the twins or I'm overreacting

2007-07-03T22:18:00.002-05:00

I've adopted a habit of writing, when ever possible, whatever thoughts come to mind in my notebook and letting them develop on the pages. When it isn't convenient to whip it out, I try to focus on one thought long enough for the ideas to jell. I get annoyed when people say they have ADD. I lump ADD in the same category as Santa Clause and the Easter Bunny. I think, for myself, my creative energy is blocked and so my thoughts just sort of pile up on top of themselves, half complete and fleeting.

It's been an invaluable help. I've made myself a loose five-year plan and thought through my ultimate life goals. I've created a to-do list with ultimatums and such. I've made a growing list of reoccurring thoughts for meditation. I feel like peace is not far away.

I found something strange behind my left nipple yesterday. It's feels like a hard tube. It doesn’t appear on my right breast. I was petrified instantly, nerves humming, heart racing. Had I done this to myself? The moment my mother discovered my jewelry, she blurted that I'd get cancer. Nonsense, I thought then. After three years, the piercing has not totally healed. I have no pain, no discomfort. As coincidence would have it, the strange thing sits on the left side of my breast, the same side as the hole in my nipple that hasn’t healed. My family has a laundry list of hereditary ailments, both harmless (bunions, dry skin, excess hair) and depressive (sickle cell anemia, stomach ulcers, uterine cysts). My father may have died of lung cancer, his mother lost a seven-year battle against breast cancer... I wrote the following thought as it came to me on the express train to work this morning:

I'm not so much worried about dying too soon as I am about losing a body part or an organ, something close to me that I've grown to know and love. I love my breasts and the thought of losing them makes me sad. What could replace them? I'm scared of living abnormally, or of carrying more secrets, of being even more self-conscious. "Dying is easy, it's living that's pain" (lyric from Cotton Eyed Joe by Terry Callier); that unstoppable train, its chugging and whistling still faint in the far, far distance, to come into view some day, any day. Inevitable, no matter the protests. I'll make peace when she comes. I just don't want a difficult life in the mean time.

My goal is to leave this earth with all my pieces. I pray that I can look back at my life and tell the people who have come to say goodbye that I was happy and that I did not fail at life, that I was a success.

In: Thin

2007-06-01T22:25:00.001-05:00

I confess that I've become envious of the pale-toned waifs walking around Chelsea and on Bedford Av... in their baby doll dresses and tank/cardigan/skinny jeans-combos and their chic hair cuts and their fun accessories… to be young and wealthy and beautiful... to be forever fashionable…

I also confess that I've been salivating over a lovely pair of high-waist hot pants available in assorted colors on www.topshop.com. In my current state (in terms of physical fitness and my own body image), I couldn’t justifiably purchase them. As a general rule, shorts are more enemy that practical summer garb to me, for the friction between my thighs sends the inseam shimmying towards my crotch prompting me to pull them down several times during the day… a very unfortunate sight indeed. If my thighs were half their diameter, and only if my cellulite distribution were acceptable, I might consider purchasing the shorts.

Another reason for my current shade of green is the progress in my training as a dancer. I know that dancers come in different shapes and sizes. I know that weight does not necessarily correlate with success. I've seen those sickly girls in ballet class, sunken-eyed, hollow-faced, and overall breakability. I see them and I feel sad for them. But I sometimes wish I could look ~~frailer~~ daintier. I want space between my thighs and a fatless back. I want to see muscle though... this is important to me. I do not wish to be so thin that one could count my ribs. I just want to be leaner and fitter... and ultimately happier, I think.

My goal is to drop approximately 15lbs, putting my ideal weight around 120lbs. From there, I’d hit the gym, to take class, jog, yoga, and the rest to maintain the weight.

Unlike my previous attempts, I'm starting a two weeklong cleanse again next week with the primary intention of losing weight. I know I don't *need* to lose it and I do not actually consider myself heavy, but I feel like shedding a few inches would help me in cultivating the body I've always dreamed of. This may not be totally healthy or enlightened or particularly forward thinking of me, but I'd like to show myself that I am able.

Day 9

2007-03-20T13:38:00.001-05:00

3p
Well folks, my cleanse is drawing to a close, and I'm feeling squeaky clean, light, and sunshiny on the inside! I had my last serving of spicy lemonade on Sunday and am slowly working my way back to solid food.

I had fresh orange juice and apple juice all day yesterday and this morning. I truly heart my juicer *sigh*. This afternoon, I think I'll be ready for some vegetable drink and maybe later some vegetable soup... mmmm mmmm mmm!

Waking weight: 125lbs
Health Meter: 5
Energy Quotient: 5
Happiness Quotient: 5
No. of BMs: 4
Evening weight: 123lbs

Day 6

2007-03-17T18:07:00.002-05:00

6p
I haven't posted an entry in 4 days, but I assure you that I'm still going strong :) I'm on my sixth day and I think this qualifies as my hill day. I've been thinking about food since last night... researching recipes online, going through my cook books, smelling invisible food, staring at a little girl as she was greedily chomping on her cheese doodles. It isn’t healthy what I’m doing. I think people with eating disorders do that – obsess over food. But this is the hardest it’s hit me and I know it’s my fault. I drank the senna tea crazy late, woke up in awful pain, miscalculated my SWF/evacuation timeline and held out for two hours on my commute (uhg), started my period (!), and I didn’t have a drop of the lemonade ‘til around 3p. All this explains my crumby mood and thoughts of giving up. But I won’t! I know my body is attempting revenge and it won’t succeed goddammit!

The four unblogged days went well generally. I had some moments of discomfort and weakness. There were times where my emotions would surprise me – I had some serious mood swings. But the good times were nice. I felt comfortable emotionally and mentally. It’s incredible to think about how irritable I am sans the cleanse and how differently I respond to otherwise obnoxious things when I’m on it. I get cranky and annoyed when I’m tired or hungry. Take-out and quickie meals do that to me. I tend to eat ‘em way after my body says it needs food and when I get my hands on the stuff, I devour it before I can even have a chance to really taste it. I tell you, when I pay attention to what and when I'm eating, it’s opens my eyes up to what a jerk I can be or say, who the instigator is in an argument (generally me, heh…), and most importantly, I begin to consider the person/people on the receiving end of my venomous tirades or what have you. And it makes me feel like a bad person. But I’m happy to be conscious of it-–to see the proof that I am what I eat.

I got great advice last week from Chizuru about eating fast. She told me that her mother taught her to put her chop sticks down between each mouthful, to give her time masticate and appreciate the food. I’m going to try that, once I start eating solid food again. I’m going to take smaller bits, putting my utensils down, really chew and tasting what I’m eating and fully swallowing before I take another bit. I’m a mindless eater most of the time. I should stop that. And I want to start making my own food everyday. Even if it’s granola and yogurt or PBJ sandwiches everyday. I’ll make the time and save my money in the process. Or when I really can’t find the time, I’ll shop smarter. Visit Whole Foods more often or the Farmer’s Markets (gosh they have some great looking food there). Rainbow Falafel in Union Square is cheap and delicious too. And though Medina is pricey, they’re $8 pre-made salads are massive and . I just need to explore more and be more creative with my meal choices.

I weighed in at 127lb this morning and I'm feeling lean. I don’t expect to get any lower than 125, which is my ideal weight. At 5’5”, that’s still in the healthy range on the Body Mass Index chart. I’d like to start moving, so that I can retain that weight when I start eating again. I got some blubber to get rid of. I’ll try a class in the morning. Some light yoga at Laughing Lotus or maybe floor barre at Steps. I’ll make it happen.

All in all, the Cleanse is going well. I got my eye on the prize, people and there’s no stopping me!

Waking weight: 127lbs
Health Meter: 3
Energy Quotient: 2
Happiness Quotient: 4
No. of BMs: 8
Evening weight:127lbs

Day 2

2007-03-13T08:39:00.002-05:00

9:30a
I just arrived at work at the Broadway Dance Center Administrative Office near Union Square and the weather is lovely and I feel like singing a song. I feel good this morning, despite the fact that my bowels woke me at around 5a this morning! I'm awake and feeling wonderful!
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1p
Now I'm grumpy. I was good and now I'm not.
I warmed up my limeade and it's tasty.

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10p
I forgot to weigh myself this morning and I'm crabby.

I went to a book store this evening and spoke to a lovely raw food enthusiast by the name of Dora. She has successfully convinced me into considering the wonderful world of uncooked foods. I've researched on the internet before and I've spoken to people.

My plan is to end the cleanse next Wednesday and take the following five days to slowly return to solid food. I think I might stay raw for longer and reward myself every once in a while with some cooked suppers and baked goods. It's getting warmer so I think it won't be impossible.

Waking weight:
Health Meter: 3
Energy Quotient: 2
Happiness Quotient: 3
No. of BMs: 2
Evening weight:133.5lbs

Day 1

2007-03-12T07:14:00.001-05:00

8a
It's the morning of March 12 on Daylight Savings Day. I'm always resentful of losing an hour of sleep and on this spring day, I'm feeling especially peeved because I would have needed that vanished hour to evacuate. I still took an hour, but I'll now be at work an hour later than I was planning. *shrugs* Oh well.

I made the Drink last night, juicing seven limes and pouring the entire mixture in a liter glass bottle and put it in the fridge over night. I generally wake up before my alarm clock. A cramping tummy woke me this morning. I spent an hour alternately downing a half-quart of sea salt water and evacuating. It went well. After the initial movements producing pellets and logs of varying shapes, sizes, textures, and colors, the rest was all nearly clear water. The saltwater flush gives me that "Orbit Gum Squeaky Clean" feeling in my gut and it isn’t as bad as most people say. Yes it’s very salty, but a little imagination can change the taste of dirt if you put your mind to it! This morning, my saltwater flush tasted like warm salty chicken broth.

I'm hoping at the end of this cleanse that my skin and hair will clear up and even out. It's very dry, but I'm breaking out. It could be toxic. It could be hormones. I just want it to go away.

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2p
I'm feeling a bit annoyed at the moment. At nothing in particular really... I mean several things (the lingering stench in my nose, which could be my jewelry--I have a pierced septum; my coworkers' egos and complete lack of humility or modesty; the thick white film forming on my teeth), but all will either pass or just be dealt with. I know this, but I still annoyed. It's because I haven't chewed on anything today. See I'm an eater. I eat when my body needs it and I eat when my taste buds say so. I honestly wish I was eating right now. I got a hankering for Spice a really good Thai restaurant on University Place. Not because I'm hungry -- I have no hunger pangs or the dizziness that usually accompanies the immediate need to fill my belly -- I just want to be chewing.

... and I'm feeling very ambitious today. I've got a few errands to get to today -- errands from my To Do Before I Leave This Earth List ;)
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10p
I'm home now. I haven't had any elimination since early this afternoon, but I'm not worried. It'll go when it's ready. I've got some joint pain in my left knee and some general pain in my traps, which I will stretch out and message before I go to bed. I chewed on a piece of Orbit cinnamon flavored gum on the train ride home to calm my stomach. I did not make enough drink to last me the whole day and my belly was beginning to talk to me. The gum tasted like what I imagine butt to taste like and it seemed to make the noise louder. I won't do that again.

In other news, I got a lot done this evening. I deposited my check, bought some sheet music for alto sax (Giant Steps by John Coltrane) and for my new harmonicas (in C), got a quote for resoling my mom’s beautiful vintage boots ($30 each-boo!), and I made a quick stop at good old Urban Outfitters (my guilty pleasure). You know, usually I'm dead tired after work, but I'm not really. I'm planning to just make my spicy limeade and drink my senna and have a restful sleep.

Waking weight: 132lbs
Health Meter: 3
Energy Quotient: 4
Happiness Quotient: 4
No. of BMs: 10
Evening weight:133lbs

In Preparation

2007-03-11T18:49:00.001-05:00

12p cup of store bought chunky tomato and vegetable soup, glass of soy milk (vanilla)
6p half store bought salad with mixed greens, cranberries, walnuts, goat cheese, and balsamic vinaigrette
7p apple cinnamon flavored black tea
8p senna root tea with a splash of lime juice

Waking weight: 133lbs
Health Meter: 3
Energy Quotient: 3
Happiness Quotient: 3
No. of BMs: 2
Evening weight:134.5lbs

As to be expected, I spent most of last night staring at my desk, alternately wishing for sleep and mentally skimming through next week's calendar. It was around 3:30a last I leaned over to check the clock. Needless to say, my gargling stomach was annoyed this morning and let me know. Today was a real day off and I wasted a good part of it being absolutely unproductive. With my sleep/work space in its current state and a laundry list of to-dos in need of my attention, I regret sleeping in and bumming around all day. Now its 7 in the evening, and I’m feeling a bit peeved with myself... there's always Tuesday (my short day!).

Other then a general feeling of laziness, I’m feeling sort of middle of the road: not especially elated, but not in a Sinead O’Conner type of mood either. I’m, just okay. It looks like I didn’t eat much today, but I started late and I’m going to bed in an hour. And eating light and liquid before the cleanse will make for a gentler morning evacuation.

I’m still feeling a bit lardy. Not fat, just not fit. I swear my backside is getting mooshy at the bottom – it’s becoming one with dimply thighs. Whatever man! It was bound to happen someday!

Bad Habits

2007-03-11T01:16:00.001-05:00

11a store bought Belgian waffle and glass of enriched soy milk (vanilla)
2p another store bought Belgian waffle
5p oat snap cookies, chocolate chips (sweetened with grain powder instead of sugar), half cup of pomegranate tea
9p Chipotle bought chicken burrito (no beans), water
12a third store bought Belgian waffle (I LOVE these things!)

Waking weight: 132.5lbs
Health Meter: 2
Energy Quotient: 3
Happiness Quotient: 3
No. of BMs: 2
Evening weight 135lbs

A perfect example of my bad meal choices; they aren’t balanced and are eaten irregular times of the day. Ideally, I would begin each meal with a piece of fruit or vegetable, to clear a path for the main action sequence to follow. I believe fruit should go before so that it doesn't ferment atop my heaping lunch, waiting for its turn to be digested (Google: sequential eating) There was a time, in my healthier and calmer past life when I ate nothing but fruit and fruit juices until 12p. Those were happy days. Multi-fruit juices and smoothies are great at filling you up and last longer with a bit of protein or energy powder. I prefer making the juices myself. It tastes better. I read somewhere that store bought juices are much less nutritional than freshly made juices because in preparation for sale, manufacturers boil fruit to remove any bacteria, which then also kills off much of the vitamin/mineral value. They later add the missing nutrients, (some natural, some man made subs), plus sugar and preservatives.

Because I waited so long to eat, I had a pretty cranky day. I usually drink much more tea than I did today (about four cups), which punctuates my meals and makes me feel fuzzy on the inside. I keep an assortment in my purse. The sweets were tasty, but because I hadn't eaten anything with much nutritional value or any water, all that sugar gave me a supreme headache. To add insult to injury, I ate a monster burrito at 9p, again with very little water and feeling sluggish with no intention of burning that meal off. And I ate it in five minutes flat, so it came back up to visit several times during the night. When I got to my bed at midnight, I munched on my third Belgian waffle because it was there and it asked to be eaten. I was being polite to it.

In a perfect world, I'd actually eat one meal (at 4pm) or two meals (at 1p and again at 6p) a day -- nothing but fruit and vegetables before a meal and nothing but maybe soy drink or tea after a meal. If I'm having an especially busy evening, a light soup or some yogurt maybe, might do me some good. I've read in several places, that the average person needn't eat more than one meal a day (exact sources soon come)! The GI track, from chew to poo, takes 3 to 6 hours to fully digest a meal. Adding lunch, a mid-day snack, and dinner to the morning's not fully processed breakfast makes the stomach and the intestines work harder and less efficiently. Preservatives and other chemicals make matters worse because they slow down digestion, but trigger cravings and you want to keep eating.

I'm very sensitive to what and when I eat. Eating too late in the morning gives me the wind for a good part of the day and makes me drowsy. Eating too fast does the same. Ingesting anything after 7p gives me a loud and busy stomach and a short night's sleep. I generally feel very tired and unbelievably hungry the morning after a late night meal.

Raising a warm cup of white apricot tea to better health and broken habits!
Cheers!

Preparation for Seven-Day Cleanse

2007-03-10T16:29:00.001-05:00

It is half past one on Saturday morning; a day away from the first day of a seven-day detox, during which period I will ingest nothing more than spicy lemonade, lax tea, and water. I'm cleansing to rid myself of some bad habits, and the products of those bad habits.

I've succeeded at completing the Master Cleanser once before for a period of six days last summer. I felt happy and light (physically, mentally) and, best of all, focused -- in life, in my career, in my self-image. I miss those days of euphoria and regular bowel movements! I'm looking forward to feeling like I'm in near perfect health and totally in tuned with my body.

So this will be sort of a live journal of my experiences on the cleanse. I'm going to give as detailed and as graphic a report as I can muster for our collective benefit. I'd recommend the Cleanse to anyone who's willing to at least try and anyone who thinks it would be impossible for them to even consider.

I will make one or two entries per day recording my meals and my thoughts. The primary goal of the cleanse isn't to lose weight, but I will record my waking and evening weights for reference (half the weight lost comes back when regular ingestion resumes, so The Master Cleanse is a pretty useless weight loss method). I'll also make a list of some important physical and emotional dimensions that are likely to fluctuate during the cleanse, again, for reference. I will measure the areas by assigning each a number from one to ten, with one being the lowest and five being the highest: health meter (how healthy I feel), energy quotient (how sluggish or perky I feel), happiness quotient (how euphoric or bummed I feel), and number of bowel movements (how many times I need to flush).

Though the initial days feel like the worst kind of exercise in gross masochism, your body switches to cruise control around the third day. Throughout the fast, you won't feel hungry; you'll be bursting with energy and delight (!); your thoughts are clear and you sleep like the dead. At about day six, you'll feel like you could do it for life! Life is good on the Cleanse, and I am going to show you :)